it hurts to make you happy

if it hurts to make you happy
don't pretend that I'm not fair
I'd still meet you in the middle
if you'd deign to meet me there

and I've cried small salty rivers
for the first time in some-odd years
while you wander, me forgotten
focused elsewhere, disappeared

Am I clingy, am I stubborn
if I chase down what I want
can you ask me to forget you
to become something I'm not

I'm just now learning my value
don't you go settle for second-best
I'm worth waiting, worth your patience
don't forget what I've confessed --

That I loved you, demonstrated
time and over and again
that I miss you, that I want you
don't pretend it's all a sham

I can't give up and be happy
with the person I'd become
if I've seen a goal worth chasing
I can't quit until I'm done

Though the end is rough and ragged
and I walk away alone
still, the time I spent's not wasted
through the stress I think I've grown

that the fault was ours as equals
all the other parts as well
was it worth it? Well I wonder.
As I hope that time may tell.